What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 28.06.2025 07:48
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
'Brady Bunch' Star Mourns Terrible Loss: 'My Heart is Broken' - Yahoo
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Craig admits to 'illegal move' in controversial 'no contest' - BBC
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Jared Isaacman’s Plans For NASA - NASA Watch
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
And i lived it daily.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
GUNTHER wins the world heavyweight championship back from Jey Uso - Cageside Seats
What did i know ?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Anthony says 1st HR made better by Red Sox win - ESPN
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Put me off passion for life!!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I have no regrets .
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Will the Palestinians ever have their own state in Israel?
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I was 9 years of age.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Vero beatae repudiandae excepturi hic quia tenetur.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I said to her
Mario Kart World Guide - All Courses, Cups, Missions, Collectibles, Tips & Tricks - Nintendo Life
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
What are the tools HR recruiters or talent acquisition managers generally use to ease the process?
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
How do you choose sunscreen for oily skin?
I was scared of men, in general
I never cut or harmed myself..
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
How the Brain Actively Removes Unwanted Memories - Neuroscience News
All the time i was locked up.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
When she asked me how she looked .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
So, i spoilt her more .
Ive learnt so much.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
She loved him until the end.
He knew the spot.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Would this be the day?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I was seconnd youngest,
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Who then, do I blame.?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She found it foreign!.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Comes on , in middle age.
My life is so biszare .
Why did i forgive my father ?
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
My family never makes their pension either.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I write beautiful poetry .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
(And it was in our own minds.)
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
We were not on the streets..
But ive been too sick for many years..
They are buried together, in the same grave..
She wouldn,t have been !
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
This is soul school!.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I was very sick at this time too.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
We all went to grammer schools
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I will be 64.
I don,t even have a pension.
But, we were locked up after school.
I think the readers, may guess!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Especially a lifetime of it.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
She was in good health!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Where the ultimate outsiders.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Im still living with it.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
One cannot live in the past .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But it wasn’t much.
It was going to be , some day.
Was to survive, this bastard.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
So whats the point in blame.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He resisted the act ,that day.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I could never make a relationship work though!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
She married twice! .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I waited trembling.